Funnies

Jennifer asked me to do a guest post while she’s on sabbatical.
I was honored to help her out.
Here are a few funnies that a friend sent me.
Enjoy, folks

Road Trip!

As you read this, I am not here.  I have left the building, disappeared from view and am no longer available.  It is time for us to be on the road again, and on the road we will be for the next three weeks.  

Yet have no fear for you will not be alone.  Thanks to my dear friend Annie, who introduced me to the wonderful world of scheduled posts, you will not be without new posts to read.  And, thanks to my other dear friends Mum, Micheal, Spaz, Sarah, Evyl and again Annie, those new posts will not be my own random rumblings, but well thought out and put together posts of seasoned writers and bloggers.  I expect you to be nice to my guests and leave them lots of lovely comments to respond to.  🙂

So, the place is yours for the next few weeks, and while I don’t mind a little mess, I do expect the damage to be minimal and the walls intact.  And remember, if you party, there is always the morning after to contend with.  A little Amanda Marshall for your viewing pleasure as you wait patiently for the first post to appear.

It’s time for a vote

All right Folks, I’ve left this name thing hanging way too long, and for that I apologize.   Life, once again, carried me kicking and screaming away from this computer screen, but through ingenuity and plain old sneakiness, I’ve managed to get back, and now we can carry on with what I started oh so long ago.

The blog name.  It is such a very important part of the blog.  It needs to give a sense of what to find in the blog, and at the same time, create a sense of intrigue and beckon to people to come see what it is about.  It needs to flirt.

It was a wonderful response to my previous post and you all came through beautifully with your ideas and suggestions to help me.  From those thoughts, I have composed a list of name ideas, some suggested and some which came to me as a result of your comments.  There have been many which I have thought of and then discarded for various ideas, and believe it or not, this really is my condensed list!  So, without further ado and in no particular order:

-Good Friends

-Welcome Friends

-Everybody’s Story

-Jen Smiles

-Random Ramblings

-Home Away from Home

-Cabin in the Sky

Sorry for the late entry, but a RL friend suggested “Live, Laugh, and Love”  so I’m throwing that one in too!  Back to your regularly scheduled readings…..

I also want to give a tip of the hat to a suggestion given by Evyl.  He suggested that I use the title currently on my about me page, which is “What You Really Want to Know”.  I really liked this suggestion because I really like that title.  After many hours of on-again-off-again deliberation, I decided not to use it as a blog title because I simply like it way too much for my about page.  It was in no way an easy decision though, and I just want everyone (especially Evyl) to know that!   

So out of the remaining suggestions, which do you think I should pick?  As a true Libra, I am completely unprepared and incapable of making such a decision, so I need to rely on all of my friends once again.  I’ll leave this post for one week, and by next Monday I will pick the winning name.

Ready, set, Vote!

God Speaks to Me

Our minister recently posed an interesting question in her sermon.  How has God spoken to you?   After telling the story of how she came to be part of our ministry, she even went so far as to encourage members to write to or tell her about their experiences in which they felt God had spoken to them.

 Now, there are two things that popped into my mind right away.  First of all, if I was ever to start hearing “the voice” I would never admit it for fear of the big men in white coats packing big butterfly nets looking for me.  Second of all, if anyone starts getting up to “testify” and it even looks like it is going to turn into a bible thumping repent-fest, I’m going to turn around and start waddling out of that church as fast as my five-kid butt and thunder thighs will take me.

 And then I got “the e-mail”.  (Yeah, blew me away too.  Who knew God could be so technological?)

 All funning aside, I received an e-mail this week that caused me to, once again, stop and realize just how far all my blessings extend.  Someone who hardly knows me, mostly knows of me, took the time to drop me an e-mail and say she hadn’t “seen” me on the net recently and was concerned that things had gotten difficult with Superbabe.  She just wanted me to know that she was thinking of us and hoping for the best.  It sat me back, and I realized that there are blessings far beyond what I see in my normal everyday life.

 Originally, I thought I would post this about how great the net and blogging is for connections and friends, people we would otherwise never meet.  Sound familiar?  Yes, done to death I know, but I was going to do it anyhow.  Then this morning I started thinking about it differently.

 It’s strange, you know, that whenever I most need that little pick me up, that little nudge or help, there it is.  Things have been difficult with Superbabe lately.  At the time our minister was delivering her sermon, I was actually in outpatients for the fourth time in three weeks with him.  He’s been very sick, having trouble breathing, losing weight and despite all my exhausting efforts, will likely end up with a feeding tube once more.  I have one more trick to try and then I will have no choice but to give in.   That message in my e-mail showed up on a day when I was feeling particularly down.  As well, life, you know, does not exist just for Superbabe.  There are many other things going on in this house which all compound his situation, and depending on the day, sometimes it is just too much.  To receive word from someone who hardly knows me that they are thinking of us and wishing us well, touched me in a way that can only be described as spiritual.  Weight was lifted and replaced with comfort.  What else could you call it?

 So in answer to my minister’s question, no I don’t hear voices.  I have however, been touched by angels and lifted up and carried various times in my life.  I have had situations turn out completely different to what I would have expected, some better and some worse, and had life changed inexplicably overnight.  I believe that my life is led by God and that gives me great comfort whenever I feel scared or lonely.  I now find myself in situations where I am being called upon to give the comfort or counsel, and with God’s helping hand and angels around me, I hope to make a difference in both small and large ways.

 Now tell me, has God spoken to you recently?

R.I.P.

The loss of a friend is like that of a limb. Time may heal the anguish of the wound, but the loss cannot be repaired.

Robert Southey

 

I buried my friendship yesterday.

It had been dying for quite some time, but I still clung to the hope that some day we might get back to what we used to have.  As many illusions do when they break, this one shattered magnificently, leaving me swirling in a black hole of misery for the past three days.  

Once upon a time, I truly loved my friend.  We were nearly inseparable, just like little children with a new best friend we were.  We could laugh until our bellies hurt and the tears ran down our cheeks.  We talked on the phone no less than 3 times a day, often much more.  She drove my husband crazy with her different ideas and great influence over my thinking.  

She really did have a huge effect on me.  I can see it now where I couldn’t admit it before.  Oh yes, there were things we disagreed about, but over all she taught me to stand up to my own ideas.  Unfortunately for my husband, I liked a lot of the seemingly radical parenting ideas she introduced me to and adopted them as mine. 

I first received an inkling that I might need to be choosier about my adoption process when her marriage fell apart.  A messy break-up it was too.  Over 5 years of back and forth and up and downs before she finally declared herself free.  Although with children in the mix, one is never completely free, but there seems to be some kind of working it out happening the past couple of years.  Sometime in there, the first small split started to happen.

Oh it wasn’t very big.  Nothing we even really noticed.  One little judgment is all it takes and the seam of friendship starts to show a little wear.  Over the years, we started to see things differently in more and more places, see each other differently.  We could still get together and laugh outrageously, but we started talking on the phone less and less, and our visits became farther in between.   We each started holding back from each other; no longer sharing every detail of our lives

These past three years we had been more like acquaintances than true blue friends.  She didn’t tell me much at all about her life anymore, and I reciprocated in kind.  Neither of us wanted to be judged so harshly by the other I suppose.  Months went by between phone calls, and visits never happened.  I missed my friend deeply, but neither of us were the same person we used to be.  To be truthful, I wasn’t willing to be the first to reach back in; I had been slapped back to many times at that point.  Even if I had, I now know that we would never have gotten back to where we once were.  Like a river in the soft clay earth, the judgments of the past had eroded too much away. 

The day she did reach out to me, it was in hurt and anger, with an accusation that left me nearly speechless.  It was hours before I was able to realize the full extent of what had just happened.  A friendship that no longer has any trust is no friendship at all, and she obviously was willing to believe the worst of me.   

As I look back on it now, I realize that our friendship had been dead for some time.  It was the hope held aloft by an illusion that died with that phone call.  Hope was just another casualty of the explosion.  So now, with my eyes cleared, I can say goodbye to a friendship, shed a tear for the loss of trust, and lay my false hopes to rest.  I still miss my friend and always will.  While she no longer believes it, I wish her no harm and hope she is well, but she is no longer welcome within my circle, nor I in hers.   Still, I remember what we had and cherish those memories.  My only regret is that we will no longer be making new memories together.

 

 

Thank you for your E-mails….

Summary of Important Emails From 2007:

Thanks for the word about poop in envelope glue; now I have to find a wet towel to seal an envelope. For the same reason, I now scrub the top of every can I open.

I gave all my savings to some sick girl who is about to die in some hospital. But I won’t be broke long once I get $15,000 from Bill Gates, Microsoft, and AOL for their special email project.

My soul has 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants although I stink like a hot water buffalo.

I can’t open any attachment since they all will erase my hard drive and destroy any backups I might have, even if they’re not in the same building.

My prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven or more of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer buy gasoline without someone watching my car so a serial killer doesn’t crawl in my backseat when I’m busy pumping gas.

I no longer drink CocaCola because it removes toilet stains, or Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put “Under God” on their cans.

I no longer use SaranWrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I no longer boil water in the microwave because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with an AIDS-infected needle.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone could drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda operatives.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don’t support our troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer my phone because someone might ask me to dial a number after which I’ll get billed for calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

I don’t use any toilet but mine because a big brown African spider might be lurking under the seat to cause me instant death.

Now I never pick up money dropped in parking lots because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath a car to grab my leg. Besides, I no longer drive my car because I can’t buy gas from certain gas companies.

Now, if you don’t forward this to at least 144,327 people in the next hour, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head this afternoon and the fleas from a dozen camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this is true because it actually happened to a friend of my next-door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician!

(Thanks to my good friend T for passing this, and many other important e-mails, onto me!)

My acceptance speech

I wish to thank Anonymum for my beautiful award!

(Oh yes, and all the little people in my life, yada yada yada………Without you, blah blah blah…….)

Thank you A-Mum~! I love my blogging award, now that I know how to display it, I’m so much wiser too!

What a great way to end 2007! 😆

Inspiration

So many bloggers I know have been posting Maxine this past week….I just couldn’t resist! 😆

Annie at Writerchick recently posted a list of insights she has recently realized. I thought some of her new found views to be very beautiful and inspiring. I think it is good for each of us to do a bit of deep soul searching from time to time. My list is going to be all the lessons I have learned in this past roller coaster year we all know and love as 2007. Here goes, in no particular order:

Life is a beautiful thing. Some days are terribly frustrating, difficult, sad or exhausting, but in the end, tomorrow is a new day, a new chance, and life is very worth living.

I am stronger than I think. Sometimes I really don’t think I can cope with what I see looming on the horizon, but you know what? When I get to the thick of it, when it really is necessary, I can do it, whatever needs to be done.

I am loved, and I love back. Love is a thing to be shared and given away; it is the one true gift which we can give of ourselves, and no matter what, it truly can heal all things. I know this seems rather preachy and I can already hear the eyes rolling, but true love of others and of ourselves really is amazing.

Have faith. Faith in yourself, faith in others, and most of all, faith in the powers of the universe and ultimate powers that be.

Whatever happens is for the best. Even when I can’t see it right away, in the end, it all works out the way it is supposed to.

There is no place like home, and home is where the heart is.

There truly are angels in this world.

I’m no special person, but for whatever reason, I have been touched and changed and granted a special opportunity to raise part of the next generation, and it is a true honor. I have been blessed.

There is nothing wrong with taking some space for myself when I am stressed. In fact, I am a better parent for it.

So that is my list for 2007. If any one out there is looking for a bit of blogging inspiration, may I suggest a list of your own. It really does feel very good, and I think it is much more productive than a list of resolutions!

Now while I am looking forward to 2008, I have the first week of it to get through first. Superbaby is going in for a cardiac catheterization on Jan 3rd and it is producing a fair bit of anxiety for the family. I just keep reminding myself of some of my lessons from this past year. In the end, we will all be just fine. Once we are through this initial bump, 2008 is looking like a stellar year!

Now that’s Christmas!

This will be my last post until sometime after Christmas. I’ve decided to leave you with this new song and video from Brad Johner. He is a performer from Saskatchewan and has travelled the many miles to our small town in Alberta to grace us with his music and help out with a couple of fundraisers over the last few years. He is a great entertainer and a good guy to boot.

Merry Christmas everyone. Wishing you only the best!

Jennifer

Psst…..Pass it on!

Claudia tagged me for a little meme, and while I don’t normally join in on this type of thing, this one is so small and simple I really can’t refuse. While you’re at it, be sure to check Claudia out! She is in Germany and is practicing both her english and spanish by writing her posts in these foreign languages. I know nothing of spanish, but her english has improved dramatically and I would imagine that her spanish has as well. It really can’t be very easy to write in a language other than your own, and I think she is wonderfully smart and brave!

Allright, seven things about me…

1) I am Ukrainian. Unfortunately I was raised purely Canadian and know very little about my anscestry. Not a big deal, but I have found over the past few years that I want to get more in touch with my heritage and culture. I’ve started making the tradition Easter eggs with my kids at Easter and trying to make and serve some of the more traditional foods. I had no idea that it would also mean that I would take on the traditional body image of the Ukrainian baba……..!

2) I snore. And I don’t mean just a little bit. I saw logs, man! It is worse when I’m coming down with a cold, but this last pregnancy was terrible. I would wake myself up with the noise!

3) I enjoy cooking. There is nothing like a big meal with lots of delicious wholesome food. A good meal is the best way to treat people. As soon as I hear that we have company coming, I start planning my menus, but I always seem to forget about lunch time. Supper meals are my specialty.

4) I hate having my picture taken. I really dislike the way I look on film. Thank goodness I have so many cute kids and the family is now more interested in photographing them than me!

5) I have only one sister but always wished I was part of a large family. I married into one though. My husband has seven siblings. I think that is also the reason I have so many kids. I always wanted a large family, and when I was young and stupid, my Mr. Man and I planned to have six kids. I was mentally done at four though and now I have five. Which leads me to my next number.

6) As soon as Superbaby is old enough tolerate a bit of seperation from me and doesn’t require so much lifting and carrying, I’m going to have my tubes tied. Five is more than enough and I seem to get pregnant just by thinking about it. It is really quite unfair when there are so many women out there working so hard to get pregnant. I would gladly give them some of whatever it is that does it to me.

7) I love where I live. We are situated right on the banks of one of the largest rivers in Alberta, and the view of the valley is absolutely breathtaking, regardless of the season. When we built this house, we made sure that our living room window featured our view, and I try to drink it in as much as possible. I missed my valley, my view, and my house more than anything else when I was in the city with Superbabe.

All right, that’s seven random/weird facts about me. I’m not going to tag anyone specifically, but I do invite you to join in if you would like. Just be sure to give me a heads up because I want to make sure that I get to read yours as well!