It’s been quite a week

I guess in my last post I mentioned that I’ve been cleaning like mad, but I didn’t mention that I was expecting company as well. My brother-in-law, his Swiss wife and their two utterly adorable children were here from last Thursday night until this morning. It was a marvelous visit marked with a houseful of screaming and playing kids, laughing adults, fabulous food, late nights and generally fantastic company. It was, as always, very sad to see them go. This was the first stop on their road trip, and they have a nine hour drive today, and another six hour drive until they get back home sometime next week. No small feat with two very young children in the back seat.

The day before they arrived, Superbaby and older brother needed a booster for their flu shots. Outside temperatures had dropped to -10c (14 F) and there was a wicked wind, but out we went anyhow. Superbaby had been making some weird whistling noises lately, so I had a health nurse listen to him while I was there. Next thing I knew, I was waiting to see the Dr. at outpatients and calling my son who was home with the stomach flu to let him know I was going to be later than I obviously thought. Chest x-rays were ordered, along with blood work and a dose of side stream meds. After all this I finally see a Dr and he doesn’t think it is anything too bad, but he does want baby in for sidestream 2x a day for the next 2 days. Oy!

Now, no trip to the hospital here is ever quick, but that is a topic for another day. However, I was naive enough to think that since we had a standing order and didn’t need to actually see a Dr, we could be in and out. Not so! Our first visit back for the sidestream took no less than four hours. It was a looong two days! By this time, our houseful of company had arrived and Superbaby had been given the ok by the Dr. Over the next two days, Sat and Sun respectfully, I did hear some whistly wheezing from our little man, but it was faint and would come and go so I just watched him carefully. Meanwhile, in honor of our unadjusted company, the weather continued to get colder. It was now -15c (5F) and snowing just as hard as it could. Straight sideways of course!

Monday morning, last day to visit with our esteemed guests arrived, along with a fever, stuffy nose, congested chest and terrible sounding cough. All from Superbaby. Temps now at -20c (-4F) and still snowing and blowing. We were back at outpatients by 8 am. We managed to be home by noon with an entire pharmacy in a bag, but home nonetheless. My amazing Swiss sister-in-law took over my house and I spent the rest of the day tending to Superbabe. Sidestream is now being given at home, thank goodness.

So now, the company is gone, but the weather has stayed and the forecast continues to call for plumetting temperatures and snow. I’m back to running my house on my own, but also playing nurse again. Between the lack of sleep this weekend, company come, company gone, a sick baby and the crappy weather, is it any wonder I’m breaking out in hives?

Mi Casa, Sou Casa

I’ve been doing some much needed and very overdue cleaning in my house lately. I must admit that I truly hate housework! Especially in a large family such as this. Yesterday, before I started my designated chore for the day, I spent an hour re-doing what I had accomplished over the weekend. If I could clean house and have it remain clean for even a day, it might be a little more worth my time and energy!

As I was cleaning and sorting and washing the past few days, I thought of the house I was recently given a tour of. What a beautiful home this family had! The hostess kept apologizing for the mess, but the house was already what I would consider spotless. There were beautiful pictures and little statuettes, and everything was placed just so. Thought and design, color scheme, even a bedroom theme. It was the ultimate showcase home, and I came out of there with a whole list of ideas for my own house.

When I came home, all my new ideas were cast out, one by one. For one thing, I know nothing about color schemes. The artwork and pictures on my walls are done by the kids, and with four boys in the house, more often the artwork consists of holes. We do have pictures on the walls, but frankly I despise the dusting they require, so they have been kept to a minimum. My organization style is more the “piler style” than anything else. Not very condusive to a showcase home is it? She made it all look so easy, yet when I stand in my house, it becomes so unreachable that I have no idea where to even start.

So I made a decision. Or perhaps it was a promise to myself. I choose to be happy with my home. Mess and all. Mind you, my mess has needed a little more structure than it has been given lately. For me, and for my family, my house will not have the showcase look, it will have the warm and welcoming look. Lived in, loved in, laughed in. I hope no one ever comes into my home and feels as though they should be holding out their pinky when they drink. So, kick back and relax. Take a nap on the couch of it suits you. My house is a real house, and everyone is welcome.

Weekend….

My internet server crashed this weekend and I thought I was going to die. On the up side, my house is drastically cleaner than it was before. Looking at my blog stats, no one here missed me terribly either. :-p
While I have a few ideas for some good posts, the time is rather short today, much like this posting. Who here watches Dr. Phil? Personally, I can’t stand the man. However, once in a while, he does come up with something not half bad. I am passing this on to you because it definitely works and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives.

By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr Phil proclaimed, “The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished.”

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn’t finished, and before leaving the house I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey’s Irish Cream, a bottle of Kalhua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.

I thank my Mr. Man for passing this on to me, because he knows more than anyone how desperately I need inner peace!

Is Anybody Thinking?

“I was thinking….” is not a phrase you are likely to hear spoken in my house all that often. Nor will you hear “I just had a thought”. It’s not that we aren’t thinking people, ’cause we are, it’s because we are all just plain ol’ scared!

I’ll admit, I’m the one that started it. Usually it was directed at Mr. Man, in the evenings after the kids went to bed. “I was thinking today…” he would start. I would clap. “Good for you!” I would say. Then, one day he said it at the supper table, and well, the kids loved it and it simply snowballed. My daughter had the misfortune of forgetting and using the “I was thinking..” line recently and she was hit with a barrage of derisive and snide comments. Just for fun, I’ve decided to share with you our list of responses for when someone starts thinking around you. Some of these can also be used with the starter “I had a thought”.

Clap

Say “Good for you!”

“Don’t hurt yourself.”

Cheer “Yay!” and clap your hands

Yell “Fire in the Hole!” and duck your head

“Good job!”

“What an improvement!”

“I’m so proud of you!”

“How amazing!”

Yell “Duck!” and hit the floor

“Oh No! Do you remember what happened last time?” Particularily effective if you shield your face with your hands.

“Run away!”

“Really?” (very exaggerated)

“That takes talent!”

“You know you shouldn’t do that.”

“Does it hurt?”

“That’s scary!”

Cut in and give a fast running commentary of good things about yourself or things that the other person could do for you. For example: “I was thinking…” “that I’m the best darn thing that has ever walked into your life and you’re sorry for how much you take me for granted and you now realize how terribly selfish you’ve been and you want to make it up to me by giving me a foot rub and a hot cup of tea every night for the next year and if that doesn’t work you’ll take the kids so that I can get away for a wild Vegas weekend with my bestest girlfriend?”

That’s our list. Feel free to share any others you “think” of!

Go play

When was the last time you spent time just playing with someone? Hanging out, having fun, laughing for no real good reason?

I seem to be a bit on a kick lately. First it was about my son’s new friend, and then about the baby laughing, and now I’m thinking about playing. Or perhaps it is the lack of in my case.

I’ve been finding that I’m in a pretty good mood these days. Until my crew gets home that is. Then I turn into the queen bitch around here. My head starts to pound and all my patience that I told myself I would have tonight disappears. It may have to do with the fact that there is five (or six if you count the Mr. Man) of them and only one of me. It may have to do with my oldest two bickering and picking at each other every waking moment. It may have to do with me trying to get supper on for a large family, help with homework, chase kids down to do chores, everyone talking at once and have to repeat myself five times everytime I need to tell something to anyone. It may having something to do with all of that, but I actually doubt it.

Frankly, none of that is new. I’ve been dealing with all of that since my daughter entered kindergarten nine years ago. If I can’t handle the after-school-making-supper-stress by now, I’m a failure as a parent. No. I think it is because I have forgotten how to play lately.

Oh sure, my daughter wants me to play backgammon with her, and we all played a rousing game of Cranium this weekend, but that’s not what I need. I need to go hang out with friends, get goofy and laugh my ass off for about three hours. Not with my family. My friends, my pals, mes amigos. I need to just go have some fun.

So go do it, right? Sure! Except that they all have day jobs, are not home, busy with their own lives, schedules don’t jive…..the list of why it doesn’t work out is enormous. Timing is everything you know. So, here I sit, pounding head, telling all of you to take time to play. And if you need any encouragement, watch the link. Even the animals are smarter than I am. You know what, watch the link anyhow, it’s just bloody cool.

Animals at Play

Laugh baby, laugh

Superbaby is not a laugher. He is actually quite a serious little baby. I can always tell what toys he likes because he gets a very intense look of concentration on his face when he sees them. He is somewhat vocal, but he doesn’t really laugh out loud. It took what seemed like forever for him to even smile for the first time. But let’s face it, the kid’s been through the wringer and I’m sure it has had some effect on his personality. It’s not as though he is a unhappy child at all, don’t get me wrong! He has the cutest little dimple on his left cheek when he smiles, and we are seeing it more and more. He’s just reserved.

Well, tonight I heard him chuckle out loud for the first time ever. He is 8 1/2 months old and he laughed out loud. Then I squealed in delight and scared the bejeebers out of him! But he did laugh again for me, so all is good. My Mr. Man had a brainwave and has been showing him videos from Youtube of laughing babies. Crazy, I know, but I think it may have helped a bit.
If nothing else, it helps our mood in the evenings listening to the belly laughs of babies. This is Sean’s favorite video. He watches it so intently, I think he must be taking notes! I dare you to watch it without smiling or even laughing yourself!

New Friends

My oldest son has a new friend.

For most people, this is a cause for celebration! Friends are wonderful things in our lives. I must admit, however, that I dread it when the kids come home talking about someone new from school. Next thing I know, they want to go over to their place, have sleep overs and play dates. All I want to know is, “Who are these people?”

My kids meet the new friend at school. Said kid is cool and fun, and that’s all they know or care. In their world, that is all that matters, and I suppose, that is all that should matter at this time. I however, have been burned enough times by the forces surrounding some of these other kids to now be very cautious about where my kids go to spend time. I still remember the one friend my daughter thought was so great. When she went to her place for an afternoon, the mom was on a bender and she spent the afternoon yelling at her daughter and my daughter. My precious girl was scarred for weeks. She was seven and she doesn’t remember the incident. I do.

Then there was the friend that she liked to go spend sleepovers with. This time I made sure to meet the parents ahead of time. The Mom anyhow, the Dad was away working. We had tea and a visit while the girls played. Seemed like a very nice family, and they still do to this day. Since, however, I have learned that family ‘rules’ are very different there. In our house, if I tell the kids “no” to something (which I try to be careful with) I am sure to enforce it. When I say “no” I mean it! Apparantly in this other house, “no” means ‘if you nag me enough I’ll give in’. Their daughter runs the house. After sleepovers, it would take me three days to get my girl back to her normal disposition. Between the 3am bedtime and the plethora of sugar and junk food, she was a total wreck! It took me a year to figure out what the problem was.

Many childhood friends are fleeting, it’s true, but they can still leave a strong lasting impression. My son has one friend right now who has decent parents, but so many of their beliefs are different from ours. We have tried to communicate to them what activities we feel are wrong for our child and why, and they talk to us as though they understand and will respect our wishes. We find out from our son afterwards that all those wishes are completely ignored once they leave. Our son is placed in the position of having to tell these other parents that “no, I’m not allowed to do that”. Thankfully, he does. His friendship with this other boy is strong enough and important to him so that he is not going to bow to the pressure from the parents when they tell him, “no really it’s ok.” When faced with so much peer pressure from kids at school, why do they have to face it from the other parents as well?

Part of my problem is that so many other parents really don’t worry about who their kids associate with. I try as much as possible to find out who the parents are and what they are like. What the family life is like. It is downright impossible if the other family doesn’t care about you and won’t get together! Even if you don’t like the other family, you still can’t really keep your kids apart, but I certainly make other choices about how and where they spend their time. They can come to play here. Perhaps an afternoon rather than a sleepover?

So when my son came to me talking incessantly about the plans he and this friend had made for the weekend, my stomach kinda clenched. I tried hard to place which child in the class it was. I finally remembered him. I had done some tutoring work with him the year before. Smart kid who spent all his energy trying to find ways not to work. Hmmmmmm…. I already have problems getting my son to pay attention to his school work. “I don’t even know who his parents are” was my excuse. “Maybe you two could get together here.” My son rolled his eyes. “Mo-o-ommm. His dad is the highest ranked cop in town!” oh. I could see my parent excuse just flew right out the window. I know that cops are only human too, but try to explain that to a kid.

We cautiously said that it would be ok for a couple of hours. Meanwhile I was trying to figure out how to get to know the family better. Low and behold, the Mom wanted to talk to me! When I hung up the phone, I knew I already liked them. She was pleasant and spoke well, but best of all, she (they) wanted to meet our entire family! What a welcome relief to meet parents who care about who their son is hanging out with! We did end up visiting with them for over two hours that afternoon, giving the boys a total of four hours together. We all feel good about this friendship. So many of our parenting thoughts and philosophies are in line with theirs, I really can’t find anythng to feel unsure about. And the best part? The Mom and I have a shopping trip planned for next week!

Quickie this morning…

Quick post that is. What were you thinking??

This is a picture that highlights some of the dangers of backyard trampolines. It could have been taken in any backyard around here. It also just goes to show that you can never predict all the implications and possible pitfalls of a product, even though when looking at some label warnings, manufacturers obviously try.

Want to go for a bounce? Anyone?

Meeting Crashers

These guys know how to really screw with someones mind! Enjoy!

A Sister’s Love

My 13 year old daughter had a school assignment due today. She was to write and present a speech which was a tribute to someone special in her life. She chose her youngest brother, and today, on the anniversary of the day we were told he would never live, she had to present it to her class. I think it is more than fitting to also share her speech here.

Tribute

This person that I am honoring today has shown courage, determination and has inspired many.

Exactly one year to this very day, he was given no hope to live. Nobody ever thought he’d make it. Never to experience life. The doctors had no hope of him living. We were all ready for the death. The death that never happened. He lived through his condition and blazed new trails for others to follow. He is my youngest brother Sean.

When Sean was born, he had a very severe and rare heart condition. His heart was enlarged so it took up most of his chest cavity, thus leaving very little for his lungs to develop. Not many other babies have ever survived this, and those that have weren’t as severe as Sean. On top of all this, the doctors at the Stollery had never seen this and didn’t believe he’d make it through. Luckily for us, Sean proved them all wrong.

Tricuspid valve dysplasia is rarely survived. It takes a lot of determination and strong will to live. When Sean was in the hospital, he needed that determination every day. Some days more than others. Open heart surgery and cardiac catheterization are only two of the many medical procedures Sean had to go through. Sean had the determination to live, so he did. Sean is now at the same mark as a normal 7-8 month old infant. He’s still on oxygen, but should hopefully be off soon. Sean was determined to be part of our family and so he is.

Courage comes in many different forms. It could be facing your fears or standing up for what is right. Sean showed us his courage when he went in and out of many medical procedures. Almost not making it out of his cardiac catheterization at only 2 weeks of age didn’t seem to faze him one bit. Through it all, Sean still acts like nothing ever happened to him. In his lifetime, Sean’s going to have to go through many more medical procedures, some even life threatening, and his courage will have to escort him the whole way through.

Inspiration. Inspire. Give hope. Faith. Encourage. These are all connected to Sean. In the hospital, he gave hope and faith to other families there. He also gave faith to the doctors in what they can do or what could happen. Sean has also inspired me to keep going no matter what happens in life.

He may be too young to express caring or loving, but he inspires, shows courage, and determination. He is the child that wasn’t expected to live, but he did. Sean proved to us that miracles can happen. I truly believe that he is a miracle child. Please stand up and raise our glasses to Sean.

Thank you.