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It’s all fat!

August 9, 2008

Just the other day, a lady that I know and (usually) like, put her arm around me and patted my belly.  “Oooh, what do we have here?”  she asked.  Ok, floor, open up and swallow me now please.  I responded, with much embarrassment, that yes, I knew I have been putting on a terrible amount of weight lately.   “Oh I thought maybe there was little surprise coming,” says she.  Good God, Heaven forbid!  “No” I say, forcing a laugh, “It’s all just fat.”  At this point I’m not feeling so happy anymore.  “Are you sure?” she insisted, sounding disappointed of all things.  No embarrassment on her part at all here.  Ok floor, scrap that.  Open up and swallow her instead.  At least she finally removed her hand from my fat stomach.  I responded with some final joke and managed to get the subject changed.  The only other lady in the room happened to have some sense of tact was extremely helpful in this.

I have a few thoughts to share based on this utterly humiliating experience.

First of all, even if I was pregnant, I would despise having my tummy rubbed by anyone else unless they were invited to.  Invited by me, thank you very much! Thank goodness I never actually had that happen when I was pregnant (amazingly if you think about that) because the pregnancy hormones tend to make me rather touchy, and that poor tactless woman might have been sporting a black eye or flattened nose over her little stunt.  

Secondly, unless it is absolutely obvious and there is no doubt at all, do not ever rub a woman’s belly (pregnant or otherwise) and/or ask when she is due.  In fact, even if it is obvious, don’t do that.  Never assume she is pregnant unless you hear her say so herself.  And for God’s sake, don’t touch her belly!   Ever.  That is her belly and her belly only and just because she is pregnant doesn’t make it public property.

Third, I know I’ve had five kids.  That doesn’t mean I’m wanting more.  In fact, it means quite the opposite.  It also doesn’t mean that I am going to be one of these women that have 20 kids and you can always assume that I am pregnant.  As well, after five pregnancies, surely I can be allowed to let myself go just a little and have a bit of a tummy.  In my mind, I’ve paid my dues and earned it.  I’m a real woman in real life and yes, I have put on some weight.  Until that moment, while I may not have been completely happy with my new physique, I was working on acceptance.  Until I had time to focus a little more energy on changing it anyhow.

Now, I find myself dealing with all sorts of insecurity issues that I didn’t even know I had.  The worst part is, I find myself watching everything I put in my mouth and food no longer has the same enjoyment for me it once had.  I’m making plans on how to get more active and lose some weight, which isn’t such a bad thing in itself, but the shame I feel is putting a damper on things and taking much of the joy out of it.  All in all, that 3 min moment in my life was completely embarrassing and has had some very deep and far-reaching effects on my life and psyche.  

For the record, I still think this lady had only innocent intentions at the time, and I still think she is a very nice person.  I will, however, be a little more guarded about my personal space around her.  And my belly.

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Help, I’m drowning!

July 31, 2008

There just doesn’t seem to be an end in site!  It’s been nearly a week since we’ve been home and I’m run off my feet.  I think I need a vacation in order to recover from the vacation…..

Our trip was great in many ways.  The scenery and wildlife of the Yukon is fantastic! Even the colors seem brighter somehow.  The people are so friendly and interesting!  People who can make their life in the harsher and more rugged world of the north seem to have just a slightly different quality about them.  I don’t think I met a single person who wasn’t completely fascinating and surprising.  

I miss Yukon time.  Time seemed more relaxed there.  That doesn’t mean that people don’t work hard and have appointments and deadlines, because they do, but it isn’t always such a defined black-white line.  11 am doesn’t necessarily mean exactly  11am.  It means 10:55-11:10 am.  11am-ish.  I like the ish.  I want to live in ishland.  

I also miss the morning coffee breaks with Esther’s neighbours.  Each weekday morning at 10 am(ish), everyone who can make it gets together in the tiny kitchen at the Motel across the road from Esther’s house for a coffee break.   It’s great coffee, yes, and occasionally a fantastic fresh baked treat as well, but it is the people and the laughter I miss the most.  Esther and Kent have carved themselves a fabulous life in little Mayo filled with equally fabulous people.  What a treat it was to be included in all their lives for the 10 days we were visiting there, and what a void was left in my life when we had to go. 

One thing I don’t miss is the stomach flu we picked up.  UCK!  It’s amazing what a teeny tiny little bug can do to us.  The kids were all sick in Mayo, Sean included, poor little tyke.  He spent the entire day throwing up and crying….ALL day.  Then the runs for three days afterwards.  The last of the sores on his poor little tush are still healing.  He got sick again when we left and were in Whitehorse, and my stomach revolted there as well.  So we spent an extra day there.  Then we stopped at Liard Hotsprings on our way home.  That’s where Gavin got sick.  We spent three nights there to give him time to recuperate.  The kids were ecstatic!  Not that their Dad was sick, mind you, just that they got to spend so much extra time at the hot springs.  Sean got sick again when we got home but there hasn’t been any sign of problems since.   Gawd, I hate stomach flu!

Since we’ve been home, I’ve hardly had time to sit down, and frankly, typing and running like crazy isn’t a feat I’ve managed to accomplish yet, despite my many amazing talents.  I’m still trying to get the trailer cleaned up and my house is a wreck!   My work for the church sure piled up while I was gone too.  All in all, Life didn’t take a break while we did, it seems to have kicked into high gear and I’m running as fast as I can, trying to keep my feet underneath me and doing all I can just to keep from landing on my face in the middle of the road.

So forgive me my friends, I do want to tell you all about the amazing things we saw and did on our trip, but it will be a little bit in coming.  I also need to come and visit each of you, perhaps at coffee time. ;)  I’m trying.

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Quick note

July 24, 2008

Hello everyone!

Although it was the original plan to be home by now, I’m not actually home yet. It has been a crazy trip, and since we didn’t have anything calling us back, we are taking a couple of days longer to make our way back to reality. Well, actually, we do have to get the haying done so our cows don’t starve to death during our long and terribly cold winter, but that seems rather far away at the moment and who really cares when you’re having so much fun?

I’m not going to go into much detail about our trip right now. I’ve been keeping a detailed diary and I’ve realized that if I play it right I can have a months worth of posts from this! ;) I will tell you that we have seen all sorts of weather, and sites which are beyond description. Many happenings have been very ordinary as well and others have been just simply awful, but they all combine to make this a very memorable and extraordinary trip.

I also want to send a great big thank you to all my guest posters! What fun to see the varied posts on here and I’m glad that they were so well received.  I will be back soon and will once again be visiting and reading at all your sites as well.

See you all soon!

*smootches*

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Ten Text Messages You Should Ignore

July 21, 2008

The guest post for today is from Annie of Writer Chick Talks. Many of you are already familiar with her blog in which she approaches a wide variety of topics with intelligence and wit.  Those of you who haven’t been to her site yet had better skedaddle on over there!  She has been a mentor for me and none of these guests posts would have happened without her help.  I consider her a friend and a very special person in my cyber-life.  Thank you so much for everything Annie! 

Ummm…why are ya’ll still here?  Go visit Annie!

 

Ten Text Messages You Should Ignore

 

1. “I have the money and I’ve buried the body.” (Clearly a case of mistaken identity)

2. “My mother has the perfect match for you.” (Nobody’s mother has the perfect match for you.)

3. “Work from home and make $4,000 a week!” (Yeah, and Bob’s your uncle.)

4. “You have been selected to be a mystery shopper!” (The mystery to me is who are these people?)

5. “I know what you did in the lunchroom. Meet me there at 2 o’clock.” (Are they going to blackmail you for eating Joe’s sandwich?)

6. “Aren’t you the same girl I stalked last summer?” (Jeez, if your own stalker doesn’t remember you, what’s the point?)

7. “You may have the winning number for Publisher’s House Sweepstakes!” (I may also be a decendent to Louis XIV.)

8. “You have just won a free laptop!” (Are you sure you don’t mean, lap dance?)

9. “Somebody has a crush on you.” (Probably the forgetful stalker.)

10. “I think somebody is trying to break into your apartment.” (Probably the nosey neighbor who has discovered they can’t get into your apartment to snoop around and are hoping to spy on you as you input your security, when you rush home from work to see if anybody’s broken in.)

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An empty chair

July 16, 2008

Hello. My name is Spaz and I as well was invited to leave a guest post here at the cabin in the sky. One of my favourite things to in summer is to sit by the edge of lake Ontario in the evening and wait until it gets dark. Then most people leave and it’s only me, the water, the sky and the summer night air. Below an attempt to describe what it felt like the first time:

I could feel lonely and cold out here, sitting at the end of the empty pier, with the vast lake’s deep breath roaring in my ears while its surface lays down a rolling blanket of eerie darkness around me. The concrete ground which lends me its seat is still warm, but soon even those remnants of the sun will be gone and night will take over completely.

How good it feels to lay the day’s thoughts to rest and let the waves wash away the last imprints! Above, seagulls dance around the red harbour light, and for a moment it seems that one can hear the drunken song of long passed mariners screeching from their beaks.

So no, lonely is unfitting for this newly discovered scenery which welcomes me into its midst, and even though the inviting gesture lacks sociable warmth, I accept it gladly, just like a virgin sailor would accept the nod of a weathered seaman towards an empty chair.

SPAZ

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Poem #346

July 14, 2008

This next post is from sweet Sarah.  I am so very happy that Sarah decided to add her voice and talent to my blog!  She was one of my very first contacts in the blogging world.  If you are not familiar with Sarah’s creative work, I suggest you visit and take some time thumbing through her archives.  Believe me, it will be well worth the dirty dishes, laundry and shaggy grass!

 

I wanted to be treasured
but I never thought to ask

I wanted to be placed first
above your lonesome past

Instead I trailed behind
waving for attention

Hoping that you’d notice me
Without my intervention

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An Evyl Guest Post

July 12, 2008

By Pure Evyl

Frankly I was surprised when Jen invited me to do a guest post on her blog. I was also quite honored. This post will seem like a departure for some but a few people will recognize it. It is from another little blog venture of mine. Hopefully this won’t ruin my reputation too bad.

Into The Cold

I sat in the cafe watching the steam rise from the cup of coffee sitting in front of me. I picked up the cup in order to take that first test sip in order to gauge it’s heat. Over the rim of the cup, I caught a vision from my past.

There she sat chatting and laughing happily with a friend. Almost twenty years had come and gone since I last saw her. My mind drifted back to that night long ago when we parted. I remember the sound of her crying in the dark and I remember my confusion and sorrow as I walked out into the cold. She wanted what I could not give and I wanted that which I could not have.

As the echo of the memory played through my mind, I finished the last sip of coffee. I left the money for the coffee and a tip for the waitress on the table. She did not see me sitting there and paid no notice as I slipped quietly out the side door.

As I drove down the road, I thought of how time holds still for no one. I have found the love that I thought that I could never accept. I hope she has found the one that could give back all the love that she deserved. Maybe I am a coward for not going up to her and seeing how she was doing after all these years yet once again I walked out in confusion into the cold. Some things never change.

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